CFNM: Personal Choice or Social Obligation?
A recent comment from a blog's reader have sparked an interesting debate.
"One day, I went to a beach in southern Spain with my girlfriend. I usually wear swim trunks and she goes topless.
But that day we discovered that all the men were completely naked, while all the women wore modest bikinis. We thought it was strange, but we didn't think much of it, and I kept in my swim trunks while she went topless, as usual. Suddenly, we both started feeling angry stares.
The men looked at me with annoyance, and it was the women who glared angrily at my girlfriend. So my girlfriend and I talked about it, and while I decided to take off my swim trunks, she put on her bikini top. From that moment on, no one looked at us angrily.
We didn't like having to change our behavior on the beach, but we had no choice but to accept it. I was embarrassed and aroused all day and didn't dare get up from my towel, lying face down with a massive erection. My girlfriend, on the other hand, swam as many times as she wanted. I didn't think that was fair.
I had never been in my birthsuit on a public beach before and It was humiliating to have to undress and stand totally naked in front of clothed women who stared at me so blatantly.
Frankly, I admit that I not only felt humiliated when I took off my swimsuit, but also a strange excitement, seeing so many clothed women watching me do it and staring my genitals and ass, and I being unable to do anything to stop it."
Several replies have been given to this comment and even more have written to me on this topic.
In many beaches, CFNM is very common, almost the norm,
and, even if CFNM isn't mandatory, it is often a
social obligation.
So, probably in that beach, CFNM was the social habit and you didnt' match the local social standard.
Yuor reaction is normal, excitment and a little humiliation is common in CFNM situation, enjoy it!
I'D LIKE TO HEAR READERS' OPINIONS.
DO YOU THINK CFNM HAS BECOME ALMOST SOCIALLY MANDATORY IN SOME SITUATIONS, SUCH AS BEACHES, EVENTS LIKE WNBR, FESTIVALS, ETC.?
HOW WOULD YOU BEHAVE?
25 comments:
I replied to that comment, saying I've been to several mixed beaches in Andalucía, where, indeed, it's common for almost all the men to be naked while many women aren't. What I've never noticed is anyone getting upset about how others dress (or don't dress). My wife sometimes wears a bikini and other times goes topless. When she's chosen topless, no one has given her a dirty look or suggested in any way that she put her bikini top back on. I told the person who made the comment that I found it hard to believe, and replied that perhaps it was the norm on those beaches and I hadn't noticed. Anyway, I've been to quite a few, so I know enough. Or so I think. Perhaps that person, when making the comment, mixed up what he/she saw with what he/she wished they saw. The idea of CFNM beaches is tempting, but, based on my personal experience over many years, I don't think they exist. And that's all from me; I don't feel like discussing this matter any further. Let's enjoy CFNM, free beaches and everything else. Thank you.
I often go to beaches like this in Spain where my gf forces me to get naked with my dyed ginger pubes and my dick is small
@r19291988 Telegram
The gender difference in privacy norms is universal and cross-cultural, and has been around for a long time.
Why? Well, maybe because males tend to be a little bit more visual, a little bit more impulsive, and let's face it: a young man’s testicles secrete certain substances which can affect his judgment. Granted, the vast majority of us do not act out our impulses; nonetheless, historically enough have done to spoil it for the rest. So, short answer, there’s a perceived power imbalance. That’s why women really don’t feel comfortable disrobing in the presence of men. Societal norms have evolved to reflect this, and custom and the law have generally recognized female privacy as a higher mandate.
The nudity double standard, if you like, is ancient and cross-cultural, and has given rise to, for example, the myth of Diana and Actaeon, wherein the Goddess of the Hunt is spied bathing naked in a stream, and the offender is rent asunder by his own hounds and, from closer to our own time, the legend of Lady Godiva, in which the eponymous Peeping Tom has his eyes put out, or worse. The moral being: if perchance you find yourself in the presence of a naked woman you had better have the good grace to avert your eyes, or something distinctly unpleasant lies in store.
It’s just a fact of life, which all men, to become men in full, must learn to accept.
This sign needs to be posted at every Beach./.
When it goes to women in bikinis I always like to tops to match the bottoms./. If there's one there should be the other./.
That is the good part of CFNM accepting who you are and what you got
Coleopter, you're right, it's quite normal for men to undress more easily without any problems, and this makes CFNM quite widespread in many places and in many countries.
It's been like this since ancient times, and in my opinion, male nudity is increasingly becoming a part of culture and habits today. Just look at movies and TV shows, for example...
On a clothing optional beach a woman should have the right to wear a bathing suit, go topless or nude. If a beach is designed CFNM signs should be posted.
In my islands, no clothing optional beaches, no nudist beaches. So, I am very frequently in CFNM situations. But, it is risky. That's why, I sometimes wear my funny strings that hide nothing. My cock is exposed another way and attracts more. LOL. I invite all of you to go and see my posts on this lovely blog of Marie.
Of course, everyone is free to behave as they see fit, even on "clothing optional" beaches. However, the prevailing good manners today suggest that women should wear a bathing suit or, at most, topless, while men should not wear one. Of course, this is not a mandatory rule, but the most widespread social norm seems to suggest this.
I am a nudist guy from Spain. In fact some of my photos were published by Marie in this blog some time ago.
I have been to many nude/mixed beaches in southern spain, and I have never, ever noticed what they say on that comment. Probably it is fake.
When you go to a nudist beach in Spain, you can go nude, or not, or topless, or not. Nobody is going to care. It's all up to you and how you feel about it. Nobody is going to get angry or look at you so you get dressed or undressed. It's total freedom.
If it is true, tell us in which beach that took place...
To Spanish Nudist: I'm glad to find someone else who has made a similar comment to mine. I reiterate: on no beach I've ever visited have I seen anyone upset or angry about seeing a woman topless or a man in swim trunks. On a strictly nudist beach (Benalnatura, for example), nudists ironically applaud those who don't undress, whether men or women, and refuse service at the bar to people wearing clothes. On clothing-optional beaches in the south of Spain, and I know some (Cala del Pino. Cabopino, Barronal...), everyone is free to dress as they please. If the person who made the comment that's causing so much discussion can prove it and name the beaches where he/she experienced what they're describing, please do so.
Yes, I think it is seen as some form of civilized behavior: The male too easily becomes overwhelmed by his hormonal urges and tends to "hunt" women. So when he sees them undressed, he gets out of (self-)control too easily. That's why women protect themselves by keeping their clothes on and society protects them, too. On the other hand, males do not need so much protection, so they can go nude or it is also a power rebalance to undress the males, to take away their protection, so they are harmless to women. However, some misbehaving male flashers can harrass women with their nakedness and some shy men are more than just put to equal level by their undressing - they are submissed. But I think men should accept this in acknowledgement to the female principle, the principle that men and boys have to follow. Good boys go cfnm!
I think the issue isn't this or that beach, in Spain or elsewhere, but rather the general attitude toward CFNM.
The question is whether CFNM is now so widespread in certain situations and places that those who don't follow it are frowned upon by others and/or feel a bit uncomfortable. A bit like people who remain clothed on nudist beaches and are (good-naturedly) mocked by nudists.
Yes, I believe that CFNM has now become part of the culture and general social sentiment, accepted and practiced in many situations, from the beach to public events, from cinema to theater, from couples to parties with friends.
In certain situations, therefore, it almost becomes a social obligation, to which men and boys must somehow conform.
Personally, very often they don't mind at all because it's an intriguing situation, perhaps a little embarrassing, but also exciting...
Thank you- I was one of those shy men. I did not like posing nude for art classes which, long story short, I had to do to survive a period of unemployment. But many have blushed, few have died!
However, I once learned that at St. Olaf’s College, a school in the midwestern US with a well-regarded art department, all male visual art students had to satisfy a posing requirement in order to graduate. The school is in a rural community, where it was hard to recruit models. Many women students posed as well, but they were under no such obligation.
I remember my reaction was YES! It’s sort of like the military draft, if you think about it- one doesn’t like to see one’s compadres shirking their duty. So that many a freshman might have lived in dread of the moment, but when it finally came it was … not so bad, really. You’re among friends, some of them happen to be female- they don’t bite! And all the other guys have to do it too. Or, to paraphrase Bob Dylan, “I would not feel so all alone, everybody must get drawn!”
So you’re right: some of us males are more submissive in nature, but on balance having CFNM as a general rule for the bold and the meek alike makes it easier to accept.
As someone who goes to Gunnison in NJ often, I'd say 90% of the dudes there are nude, while more half the women are topless, probably nearly half are nude. So it's a mild cfnm vibe. Sometimes it's stronger, sometimes it's pretty equal. I love both vibes. One does see young girls in bikinis taking photos of each other posing, hoping to get naked men in the background without making it look as ifnthey are. I've photobombed probably a couple dozen or so pictured, pretending to be inaware.
Nice creative writing, but let's be real: this only happens in CFNM fanfiction. No real-world beach has a 'men naked, women in bikinis' policy enforced by angry glares. If I were you, I would just enjoy the fantasy you wrote instead of trying to pass it off as a new social requirement."
Abstolutely agree with you, Kisede.
Certainly, we cannot speak of obligation, but the fact that CFNM is very widespread and that in certain situations it is a socially desired practice is now a fact.
I never found any beach where nudity is mandatory for men and prohibited (or even optional) for women; either prohibited for everyone, optional for everyone or mandatory for everyone (some naturist beaches). Some naturist resorts has followin policy: men must be nude, women recommended to be nude, but they may be clothed, except swimming pools, where everyone must be nude.
AFAIK, "Peeping Tom" is later addition to the history; in the original, Godiva's hair was long enough for covering her breasts.
At nudist resorts (and I’ve been to quite a few), there is no difference in the dress code for men and women. Everyone must be naked in the pool area, while wearing clothes in the rest of the resort is optional. However, it is true that while many women cover up with a towel or a sarong, most men remain naked the entire time. Not because a rule requires it, but simply because that is how they feel most comfortable. I suppose women tend to have a stronger sense of modesty.
On clothing optional beaches bathing suits is optional for everyone. Maybe you should create petition in order to establish "nude men, women in bathing suits" beach, but please don't call it "clothing optional".
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